I am pleased to be writing to you all from The World of the Well (instead of the Land of the Sick!!!). I have recovered from my final outbreak of cold/flu and walked ... wait for it...
6 miles yesterday!!!!! I walked two miles two days previous and dreamed and dreamed of being strong and healthy to finish the whole thing and my Matt went with me and we finished the whole walk together! I had a nice long nap after but today I am still feeling great and fine! I would say that is a major milestone! I knew once I kicked the winter bugs I would come out feeling stronger than ever (I'm determined to end this hero's journey in its 7th year!!)
I am weary and tired of dark English days though, and my partner is in dire need of a holiday. However we'll still scraping by on our collected pennies which will hopefully change soon since I am looking for a new job. I really wan
t to jump into full time work now as I am tired of never having any money and want to move on with my life, get married, be able to travel to see my family and enjoy the perks of living in Europe, and to rebuild my life again. My time is worth more than the few hours I was working retail and I know that the perfect situation is out there for me. I used to be determined to get a job in animation becaus
e I didn't want a job that I hated. However now I realize a job is more about the people and environment you work with every day ... "It's not what you do it's how you do it", and I know I can turn a lot of jobs into an enjoyable experience. I'm ready to give it a go and see where life takes me. Just have to get hired close to home so I can come home for a kip if I need it!
I've also been doodling for the clinic on some themes. I need to turn these into usable graphics soon but I'm trying to do it with no pressure!! No achiever tendencies here :) Have to balance looking for a job and keeping everything else in order. The important thing is to note that I am HERE at this stage where I am able to even consider these things.
In the mean time I am staying uber inspired by reading Martha Beck's Finding Your Way in a Wild New World. I think many of us with ME/CFS are a particular kind of person described by this book... a WayFinder, brought down by Shaman Sickness. I know it all sounds airy fairy but Martha uses these words simply as story telling mechanisms. She's an ex-morman Harvard educated psychologist and sociologist, Oprah's guru Life Coach, and a recoveree of Fibromyalgia (and she hints at ME CFS too). I HIGHLY recommend this book and all of her other books. I cannot put them down. Enjoy!!!!
P.S. In these final stages of recovery I have not been a perfect patient. Living with my partner has made my diet less than ideal (though I do guzzle down some epic juicing from time to time), my meditation practice is spotty, yoga has been replaced with walking (until I have specific muscles that are begging to be stretched), and I am most of all determined to identify places things and actions that set off my stress state. I am more keen to do visualisations to get myself into a state I want to feel, and practice real gratitude and awareness of the things that make me happy. I drink (decaf) coffee and eat chocolate and even drink alcohol from time to time. I wasn't able to do these things at other stages in my recovery, but now I'm so aware of my body and effects that I can pretty seamlessly move through things I want to do without pushing myself over the edge.
Here's to you and moving on with your journey. xoxoxoxo
oh and here are some really funny raccoons :D