Sunday, January 3, 2010

New Year Resolutions

It's already pretty strange turning on the DVR and seeing new episodes with the suffix "2010". Very strange... A new decade in a still brand new century. I can't really pinpoint why 2010 feels different, it feels like a fresh start. The first decade of the 21st century was a really difficult one for myself and my family. I went through a lot of serious transformations and we suffered tragedies on a number of levels. However, there were also weddings and all sorts of other lovely things, but in general I'm happy to say good-bye to the "early twenty hundreds". Strange.

On to my point: New Year's Resolutions. At first I was all Ebenezer Scrooge about holidays and traditions and sunshine and hopes and dreams, grumbling about how my health prevents me from actually accomplishing things.... However now that 2010 has started off with plenty of sunshine and warm weather I'm feeling my sunny disposition peeking through the clouds and am ready to tackle some new goals.
1. Weekends are for Weekending.
It's easy to get stressed out when you're on a schedule that lies mainly on your own terms. Having night classes makes it difficult to get going during the day and so I've been harboring weekends as a chance to catch up on work. No More! I have realized the importance of weekends and time off. I think it really makes you a much more productive person to realize that there are reasons for doing the things we do, and getting a fresh perspective by going somewhere new or hanging out with fun people can help refresh you for Monday.
2. Take advantage of LA.
Having been born here it's easy to take this city for granted. I don't have the energy to take on EVERYTHING that LA has to offer, as there are plenty of opportunities filling up my inbox every day, but I hope to at least make plans to see and do more LA stuff this year.
3. Make home my Home.
It took me a while to feel like my apartment wasn't just temporary, and now having had 3 Christmases in my Castle Heights apartment I realize it's time to really make this my place of refuge. It has felt more like a prison on many occasions as I suffer cabin fever from spending so many sick days here, but I plan on respecting my room and my apartment and the wonderful things I already have and being more grateful for the space I have.
4. Take it easy on myself.
This is my resolution almost every year. I stress myself out and give myself a hard time when I'm not able to accomplish what I want to, and yet tend to skimp out on congratulating myself for the things I HAVE accomplished. More respect for self. I've had a hell of a decade, and I deserve a little self love. Duh. It's stupid to punish myself for an illness I have no control over, and for the limitations I'm under because of it. It is my plan to embrace these limitations and accept them as guidelines that help me to organize my life and my priorities.
5. Be a good patient, be a patient patient.
It's been easy to get frustrated with my doctors and my treatment options, or lack there of, but I have to just do the best that I can do for myself given the circumstances. I will continue to reach out to the medical community to look for help, but will also accept that the answers are not all out there and I will do the best I can to take care of myself and to be happy in doing so.

Finally, and most importantly, I fully intend to embrace uncertainty, love with all my heart, and to find joy in life, no matter how slight.

Happy New Year!

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