Monday, December 21, 2009

Hardest on Self

After "submitting" my 2009 blurb to my dad for publication in our annual Christmas letter, I realized that I have been way too hard about myself and my accomplishments this year. Here is what I wrote:

"In 2009 Jenny had a successful run with hershort animated film, Jellyfish Niche, which screened at the Newport Beach Film Festival as well as at Comic-Con with the San Diego International Children's Film Festival. She also received three generous grants from the Donor Awards through UCLA; awarded based on merit and dedication. Jenny was also awarded an apprenticeship with the graduate program, assisting in teaching computer animation to other graduate students. In June, Jenny completed her second short film, Squirrel Tale, which she plans to screen at festivals in 2010. Jenny is set to complete her MFA in June."
I didn't even mention the awesome task of organizing Prom this year, as well as having the honor of awarding David Silverman with our first annual award for Outstanding Contribution to Animation. In March I presented a design project to Disney Execs as part of a class and my group won first prize!!! The trip to Cozumel for Heather's Wedding was a huge deal as well.... NO WONDER I was burnt out by the start of school this year. I had finished a film (Squirrel Tale) in June and continued working on it through September, attended film festivals for Jellyfish Niche,
organized Prom, started my TA-ship, and all the while finishing all of my other classes as well AND holding a job at the student services office.... Not to mention the little thing that is my health that only allows productivity for a few hours a day at best. Damn I'm motivated.
So this winter I'm giving myself a break... well I guess only until 2010 starts. I've got to hit the ground running come 12:01am January 1. I really foresee next year as being explosively awesome.

Good job, 2009. This was a very typical "9" year in all aspects, a lot of endings, a lot of lessons learned. Dusting myself off and readying my busy hands for a fabulous fresh start.

Saturday, December 19, 2009

Bah Humbugh!

It was my complete and utter intention to start this blog in order to post cute quips that reflected the sparkly rainbow pony within me, however as soon as I sit down to write my mind shoots off into space to ask the Big Questions, so I realize this cute quippy blog thing is just not going to happen for me.

The ponderings of my mind are just too constant and wild and my life too complicated to pull out a lightning fast this or that of the day, so today I will just resign to posting a fabulous holiday photo of us Sherman sisters (although only 2 are still technically "Shermans") that I made with the help of the ingenious

Merry Christmas, and have a very Happy New Year!

Don't forget you can also play my Chakra Game (flash class final) on my website:
You can also find a link to all my films on there as well. =D

Monday, November 23, 2009

"family unit limbo"

Hooray it is Thanksgiving this week! This will be the upteenth year I am not having dinner with my whole family, it will just be myself and my little sister Chrissy as my parents have hopped in their retro- motor home and are adventuring their way to Denver to see my older sister Heather and her husband. My other sister Nessie is with her husband in Japan, so it will be a little weird once again. The family unit has been spread across the world for a while now, as ten years ago we all started college and realize we couldn't make it home for Thanksgiving and Christmas. Then people get married and coupled off.... so anyway, I'm in family unit limbo.
My parents are embracing the mostly newfound freedom of an empty nest (Chrissy is still there, but very much independent) and obviously my two married sisters have their hands full with starting families and new lives of their own. I'm excited about the prospect of building my own unit one day, but for now I'm in limbo land. There isn't exactly that place and those people that I can just go to when I need. I'm really on my own for a while. I guess this is where some people get a cat or a dog, but I'm afraid I'm having a hard enough time just taking care of myself.
The illness itself is lonely on a whole other level, but things like holidays make you realize how quickly those nuclear family moments went by when we were so young. Don't know if I'll be able to make a family of my own, but at least one day I should be well enough to have a kitty or puppy. =P

REGARDLESS! Thanksgiving doesn't really mean family, it actually means lots and lots and lots of delicious food, and you can bet that Chrissy and I are making it happen AND THEN SOME!
Food fills all voids.

Sunday, November 8, 2009

Contradiction is a map

So having been sick in bed for the last 3 days I started to finally perk up a little just as I was supposed to be going to sleep for the night. Isn't that just how it goes? The good thing about feeling a little better is obvious, but the downside is that suddenly you feel your responsibilities creeping up and I realized I need to start brainstorming for one of my finals, and fast.
The class is Interactive Animation and I need to come up with a compelling interactive project, so I started brainstorming on WordPad and here's what popped up:

-focus on Thesis, "The Littlest Monk"
-buddhism, growth, compassion, patience
-mission, adventure, snowy mountains, eagles

-focus on CFIDS awareness/ Chronic Illness
-play the symptom game
-smack the doctor

As soon as I typed "smack the doctor" my eyes darted up to "compassion" and I just started laughing hysterically.

I hope you all laugh too.

BTW my inspirations for artwork are

Now my brain is tired again and I will go to sleep. =P

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Squirrel Tale is now LIVE!

Well, live in the sense that it is not dead.
You can now watch Squirrel Tale via YOU TUBE! (*cheering*)

You can also view my hilariously amateur website for my Interactive class.

Enjoy ^-^

Thursday, October 22, 2009

I want to be really awesome

So the answer to all of life and the universe and everything is simple, right? To be happy. That is the purpose. And not fake happy or shallow happy or lame happy, like really deeply satisfied in your heart happy. For me the biggest obstacle is my obsession with the future. I want to be really awesome someday.

What does this mean? I have absolutely no idea, I just feel this little animal inside of me saying over and over again "you are meant to do great things". That puts a lot of pressure on a person. What if what I'm doing isn't good enough? What if I am not doing the right things to be on my way to do those great things?

The secret is, that happiness is right there waiting for us in the now. It's so hard to sit here and say to yourself, "Oh hello now, I forgot, Happiness is here" and then embrace it and feel it.

We're all told that happiness is not at the end of our road, but it is the journey we are on. Yet it is so hard to grasp, it feels like a wisp of smoke just constantly curling between our fingers.

And then there is the resentment that you really do get when you catch on to that little piece of happiness. People actually throw negative energy at you by saying things like "why are YOU so happy, what do YOU have to be happy about"... it's as if we're all programmed to need someone to tell us, "ok you can be happy today", or that life is a competition to see who has it the hardest.

Well I'm sick of that bull-crap and I'm living with an open heart and open mind, ready to breathe in that happiness as it is, just here ready and waiting for me.

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

The beginning of the end of Ignorance

Never Fear! My blog is not specifically a CFIDS/Fibromyalgia blog, however it is a pretty big part of my life so it may come up every once in a while =D.

My life has always been an open book. I'm not good at keeping secrets, and I really feel that if we all just were a little more open and honest about our lives, the better understanding everyone would have about how similar yet different and awesome we all are.

Today I want to share a link to an article published in the New York Times this week regarding the breakthrough discovery of XMRV's link to CFIDS. This is like someone coming to a person who has been called "Crazy" for the last 20 years and telling them they are actually legitimately physically ill. Well I guess it isn't LIKE that. It IS that.
NYTimes Article on CFIDS and XMRV

More NYTimes information on CFIDS can be found here.